There is a lot to unpack since my last essay. I’m very grateful to have peacefully finished the fall semester. Not only did I fully enjoy both of my classes and receive very thoughtful and positive feedback from the students, but I also found myself available to engage with some of the changes my university, … Continue reading Journey: Release and Renewal
A friend recently asked me if there’s anything I’ve learned over this past year and a half that I’d want to scream from the top of a mountain to the world. I’m not sure I’m in the mood for screaming from the top of a mountain at the moment. But the question made me reflect … Continue reading Journey: spiral up?
A few weeks ago, my therapist suggested that I’d connect with joy, even if for a few moments throughout the day. This has been hard, not because there aren’t “objective” reasons for joy but because these days joy is often clouded by fear and grief. When after a week of trying I reported that this … Continue reading Journey: Connecting to Joy amid Challenges
Spring came early to central Pennsylvania this year. Our daffodils are typically late bloomers but around the neighborhood the yellow and white bells began appearing mid-March. Our cherry tree bloomed in the last week of March and so did the purple hyacinth, a gift from a dear friend. For years, if not decades, the first … Continue reading Journey: The Second Spring
I had been feeling better, “on the mend,” from approximately mid-October to early December. As much as my therapist and I had discussed the importance of not setting expectations, naturally somewhere on the back of my mind I had the expectation of “continuous recovery.” In addition, I was really looking forward to spending quality time … Continue reading Navigating Journey: Nothing is Set in Stone
It’s been almost two months since I’ve completed radiation, closing the “active treatment” chapter of this journey. It’s a new chapter now. I’m still figuring out what it is. It’s certainly not a “going-back-to-normal” kind of chapter. There is no going back in life, for me or anybody else, I find. When I shared with … Continue reading Journey Continues
It’s October in central Pennsylvania. The temperatures dropped; we now turn on the heat at night. During the day, it’s long sleeves and a light jacket. The trees are turning colors; slowly green becomes yellow or gold or red. It’s one of the most beautiful times of the year here. I just finished my radiation … Continue reading A C-word Journey: Autumn
On August 9th I had my fourth infusion. After completing the procedure, I got to ring the bell. When I first heard from a friend that her friend “rang a bell” after finishing treatment, I thought it was just a figure of speech, an expression. Then I saw a real bell in the infusion room … Continue reading A C-word Journey: Ringing the Bell on Chemo
July 19th. My oncologist came in to talk to me right before the third infusion. We discussed going forward with the same reduced dose—80% of a regular chemo dose and 50% of the bone marrow drug. He said, casually: “Even with chemo, there are no guarantees. So, we want to balance the treatment with the … Continue reading A C-word Journey: Chemo, Three Quarters
I received my second infusion on June 28th. I was feeling better the previous afternoon, so got almost eighteen hours of comfort. First time in three weeks. Because my reaction to the first infusion was rather crazy (see the previous post), this time I received 80% of the chemo dose and 50% of the bone … Continue reading A C-word Journey: A Chemo Mid-point?
Katerina Bodovski Writings 