It’s October in central Pennsylvania. The temperatures dropped; we now turn on the heat at night. During the day, it’s long sleeves and a light jacket. The trees are turning colors; slowly green becomes yellow or gold or red. It’s one of the most beautiful times of the year here. I just finished my radiation … Continue reading A C-word Journey: Autumn
On August 9th I had my fourth infusion. After completing the procedure, I got to ring the bell. When I first heard from a friend that her friend “rang a bell” after finishing treatment, I thought it was just a figure of speech, an expression. Then I saw a real bell in the infusion room … Continue reading A C-word Journey: Ringing the Bell on Chemo
July 19th. My oncologist came in to talk to me right before the third infusion. We discussed going forward with the same reduced dose—80% of a regular chemo dose and 50% of the bone marrow drug. He said, casually: “Even with chemo, there are no guarantees. So, we want to balance the treatment with the … Continue reading A C-word Journey: Chemo, Three Quarters
I received my second infusion on June 28th. I was feeling better the previous afternoon, so got almost eighteen hours of comfort. First time in three weeks. Because my reaction to the first infusion was rather crazy (see the previous post), this time I received 80% of the chemo dose and 50% of the bone … Continue reading A C-word Journey: A Chemo Mid-point?
I came across a quote in the Russian-speaking internet space by M. Fray (a pseudonym for an enormously popular female author) that, in free translation, reads: “if you truly love life, you let it be what it is.” I paused. Typically, we say this about people or in the context of parenting. It was stretching … Continue reading A C-word Journey: Chemo Stormy Waters
“It’s just hair. It will grow back.” I’m suffocated by my own silence. I don’t talk to people, mostly text. It feels like using my voice requires too much energy these days. We went to a consultation at Memorial Sloan-Kettering on May 1. The doctor there strongly suggested adding chemo to the follow-up treatment. I … Continue reading A C-word Journey: Second Installment
I’ve been having mammograms for a decade and never had any trepidation about it. No family history or known risk factors. January 11th, 2023 pushed the preliminary pause button on my life with a mammogram that required biopsy. January 27th pushed the actual pause button with one sentence: “I’m so sorry, but your biopsy came … Continue reading A C-word Journey: First Impressions
Season 2, Episode 2 of Modern Love "The Night Girl Finds a Day Boy" features the story of Zoe, a night owl, and Jordan, a normal 9-to-5 guy (schoolteacher) falling in love, facing the challenges of their different schedules. The episode is based on a New York Times essay written by Amanda Gefter. The author, who … Continue reading Lamentations of an Orthodox Night Owl
It’s been a strange year, with its unexpected highs and unimaginable lows, and everything in between. It still is, as nothing has been resolved, nothing is settled. And yet, there is a sense of slow awakening around. Things have changed, shifted, moved. Sometimes it feels as if everything is spinning so fast, you can hardly … Continue reading March, Revisited
October, a dance of light and color. The green becomes orange, then red, then deep burgundy. The trees are still till the ray of sun touches the leaves and the dance begins. It’s playful, it’s joyful, it’s powerful. It’s not the innocent joy of youth, it’s a mature joy of experience. Not as bright as … Continue reading October Light
Katerina Bodovski Writings 